Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Enfeebled English

I took this photo where we used to have our RV on Baffin Bay.

I cut this "Enfeebled English" out of a newspaper a long time ago and I always thought it very clever.
I wanted to share it with you.

Enfeebled English

"We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen---not oxes,
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese.
Yet the plural of moose should never be "meese".

You may find a lone mouse or whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not "hice".
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called "pen"?

The cow in the plural may be cows or "kine".
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet
But I give you a boot; would a pair be called "beet"?

If one is a tooth and whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called "beeth"?
If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be "kese"?

Then one may be that, and three may be those,
We speak of a brother, and also a brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say "methren".
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So our English, I think you all will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

These fibers were used to bead and sew their clothes.